借りる vs 貸す — which one am I doing when I ask to borrow a pen?

Question

I want to say 'can I borrow your pen' but I keep flipping 借りる and 貸す by accident. Is there a trick to remember which direction each one goes?

Accepted Answer

Trick: 借りる is what YOU do (you are the one receiving/borrowing something), so 'can I borrow your pen' = ペンを借りてもいいですか. 貸す is what the OTHER person does for you (they are the one lending), so if you want to directly ask them to lend it, you'd say ペンを貸してください or 貸してもらえますか. Since you're the one wanting the pen, 借りる is almost always the verb you'll be using in first person for this kind of request.